Know why you want to lose weight before you start.
Know why you want to lose weight before you start.
I had to get my thinking clear.
Although all the supporters I connected with to help me on this journey contributed, I think the sessions with Cognitive Behavioural Therapist Bradley Drake made the single biggest contribution to me getting my thinking right. I can remember me telling him that was not possible for me to leave food behind on my plate and becoming very angry when he asked that if someone were standing next to me with a cocked gun threatening to shoot would it still not be possible for me to leave food on my plate. What made me so angry was that I thought he was being trite. Obviously, with a gun to my head, I would leave something behind on my plate. What he was illustrating was that it wasn’t impossible. It may be hard to do but it is not impossible, given the right motivation.
Me getting clear about why I wanted and needed to be at a healthy weight was the equivalent of the Godfather “making an offer he couldn’t refuse”. I first had to accept that I was killing myself by the way I was eating and then the motivation became clear. I chose life.
If you’d told me, even offered a money-back-guarantee that I could and would shed excess weight; be able to be without medication for blood pressure and diabetes and, moreover, have energy and lightness that made me want to be active, I wouldn’t have believed you. That is how compelling my self-beliefs were. As someone who has achieved a healthy weight, I can offer you that guarantee. However, I imagine that you, like me before, will have to find that motivation yourself.
Brian I just read your blog and cannot believe my eyes or what I am reading. Wow what a journey you have been on. Mazel tov on the new you. What an incredible thing you have done.
Thanks Michelle!
You are a true inspiration. Thank you very much for sharing your story. Like you I’ve decided against weight loss surgery. I can do this myself.
Many thanks Hanlie – I’m glad you know you can do it yourself.
Hi Robynn, I’ve been thinking again about your point that we can and do re-make ourselves through our beliefs and our actions. I’m even aware of thinking more creatively when it comes to work issues. It is as if by shedding the excess fat around my organs that I have also freed the pathways in my brain. Getting rid of my excess fat was certainly the smart thing to do, but is it also possible that I’ve become smarter in the process?
Thanks again Hanlie for saying you’ve been inspired by my journey. How is your journey going?
Hi Brian, just read your amazing story in our local newspaper “the Tatler”. Well done!!! I am on a similar life style change – started nearly 2 years ago on 169 kg, so fare I have lost 46 kg, so I have a bit more to go before I am in your weight range. All your guide lines are spot on. I also make daily use of a website “Calorie Count” – completely free of charge, millions of participants world wide and very good ongoing professional advise. They have a massive library of tens of thousands of food and beverage items with an in – depth calorie and nutrition record which makes my daily meal planning a “piece of cake”! I am looking forward to reading your book. All the best, William
Best to you too William. I use an iPhone App called My Fitness Pal. Very useful to track energy in and energy out.
Hi William, I wanted to check-in with you about your weight-loss journey. In November you said you’d shed 46kg and I’m wondering how you have managed over the silly season with all the temptations that come with it. I’d be very grateful if you can share what worked for you and what didn’t.
Hi Brian, you look amazing! Well done, it is an extraordinary achievement. I wish you well.
Much appreciated Amelia.
Extraordinary!
Brian, I haven’t seen you for several years, but still hold our friendship & connection dear.
You have always been an extra-ordinary man; this journey re-emphasises that for me, and certainly you are no less substantial! Just differently so 😉
With love, and a joyful anticipation of seeing you again soon.
James
Hi James, it is strange, in a way, that now that there is less of me that I feel much more substantial. I’ve missed seeing you, too.
Wow Brian, I don’t think I would have recognised you if we’d passed in the street. As I scrolled down to the picture of the skinny guy on the beach, I thought: “Okay, so who is this?” Only to realise after several puzzling moments, Holy Mother of Pearl, it’s you!
And to think that you achieved this as a result of a change of mind, a shift in attitude – I love that! That reminds me, I have a book on my wish-list that perhaps you’d enjoy too: “The brain that changes itself – stories of personal triumph from the frontiers of brain science”. The author, Dr Norman Doidge, explains the discovery of neuroplasticity, the ability to change the structure and function of our brains via our thoughts. It’s such an interesting topic, because it means that when we decide to change our minds about something, the science behind that decision says that we quite literally change the neuronets and pathways in our brains. If you’ll excuse the pun, the ramifications of this are mind-boggling.
I’d love to learn more about the techniques used by your cognitive behavioural therapist in helping you to do this. Maybe you could share some of your new insights in a future blog post? And then your new bio can add “unwitting neuroscientist” to the list, along with “fit, healthy, skinny person”, of course. 😉
This story is about so much more than just losing weight and improving health. It takes tremendous courage to stand up to all those self-sabotaging doubts, old habits, familiar attitudes, and even your own ideas about your identity and say “no, you shall not pass”.
Brian, you’ve made my day. I feel honoured to know you.
Hi Robynn, I’ve been thinking again about your point that we can and do re-make ourselves through our beliefs and our actions. I’m even aware of thinking more creatively when it comes to work issues. It is as if by shedding the excess fat around my organs that I have also freed the pathways in my brain. Getting rid of my excess fat was certainly the smart thing to do, but is it also possible that I’ve become smarter in the process?
It is so true! It is a matter of your mindset about the journey. I work with my clients, first to KNOW their why and find their motivation for the journey. Some do, many don’t. Though as you discovered, it is possible no matter how hard it may seem. You clearly are an inspiration and I am most happy to have discovered your story today! I look forward to hearing more from you!
Excellent article and GREAT inspiration. Determining your why and then KNOWING and owning it are truly crucial for success. And it is the first thing I work with my clients to determine. And you know, it is possible, not always easy, but always possible and I so greatly appreciate you proving it with your story. Thank you for sharing and I look forward tomhearing more from you!
What an inspiration you have been to me unbeknown to you though.Iweighed 203.4 kgs in Dec 2012 and on 15 Jan 2013 embarked on the programme for the Bariatric Surgery.Have now lost 33.6kgs and stil awaiting authorisation from the medical aid for the operation.Can’t agree more fully with you that you need to start with the change of the mind otherwise all is lost.
I will continue as l have for these past 7 months and would like to keep in touch with you.
Kind Reagrds
Randall
Thank you Randall – well done on your amazing loss of 33.6kg.
Dear Brian
I, too, have read the article about you in the papers this weekend and have been inspired by your story.
My major problem is my craving for sugar.
How did you overcome that feeling? I do really well with the protein and low carb way of eating for two or three months but then it hits me like a ton of bricks – then I am back to chocolates, sweets and fizzy drinks.
I have also now been diagnosed with hypertension and diabetes. Please help!
Ayesha
Thanks Ayesha, the answer to getting over your sugar addiction is easy but putting it into practice is the hard part. When you think of yourself as an addict and you think of sugar as poison it is easier (but not easy) to force yourself not to have it. It took me three months of pretty much hell before I stopped craving it. Perhaps give yourself something savory as a treat (I love nuts and biltong) and when the craving for sugar is overwhelming eat something else instead.
Good luck.